Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
did i just pee glitter
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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