Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
