there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
