why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
he was CRYING into my vagina
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
