So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
