also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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