you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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