in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
