I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
All I want is dick and wine.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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