Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
