I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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