you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
