Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
