I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Just cropdusted the office
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Randomize
