She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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