btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
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