I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
And then my night got REAL pukey
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
