can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
