Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win

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(913): View more from Kansas

ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?

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(772): View more from Florida

Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks

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(410): View more from Maryland

After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie

(420): View more from

your the best winggirl ever

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(804): View more from Virginia

she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny

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(203): View more from Connecticut

At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o

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