Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I use my feet as sexual weapons
God, I missed his penis.
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