apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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