ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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