I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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