we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
We got so high we made milksteak
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
