YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
