Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
