I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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