do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
