Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
