No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
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