I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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