Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
