I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize