I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
