and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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