We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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