Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
The air was thick with penises
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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