They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
