I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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