He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize