Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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