Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
