I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
