You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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