I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
