Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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