Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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