look no pants
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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