i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
