There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize