So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
