Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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