my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
