Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
