I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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