She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
