He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
