Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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