he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
